During a marriage crisis, you may feel like your whole world falls apart and all your dreams will be destroyed. Listen to the words "I love you no more," "I want a divorce" or "I do not know if I want to stay married" can leave if reeling from the shock.
Many emotions surface stunned after the first reaction: anger, fear, anxiety, confusion, anger, bitterness, despair and depression. Everything seems to be mixed and slightly unreal, as ifthis is really happening to someone else, not to you. But incredibly, it's happening to you.
At this point you have to had every ounce of courage and strength that you possess and a lot that you do not know, you are using until now. Like you have room for some private time, so you can take care of themselves together, and create an action plan drawn up.
You may have to spend to buy one days from work some time in conversation with a close friend, a notebook and start writingShare your feelings and thoughts, or take a long walk in the park Another option is to call and schedule an appointment for counseling even as soon as possible.
Next, spend some time thinking about how you deal with this situation. Its goal is to buy time so that your spouse does not bolt out the door too early. You want to slow down a bit, so your spouse can be reconsidered in time and, if at all possible, arrange to go to counseling with you.
During this time of crisis,You need the "guardian of marriage flame." It will hold up to you, hope and love alive, so that the fire did not go out. You can not complain that it is not fair and that it should not be so.
But the bottom line is that if you save your marriage and your partner wants out, it is up to you to take positive action. During the crisis, see, you must be prepared to hold not much more than your fair share of your marriagealive.
And that means that despite your anxiety and worry, it's up to you to keep hope alive - hope you make your marriage is - and I hope that your partner will change his mind - I hope that your marriage survive this can and better than ever before.
Here are some tips on how to preserve the hope and cope during this time:
1. Do not give up on your wedding, no matter what your husband has said. People often change their minds. No situation is hopeless, ifat least one partner is willing to do whatever it takes to really maintain the marriage. There is always hope that your marriage can be transformed by loving energy. Many spouses to reconsider their initial impulse to leave and decide that they have invested too much time and energy to throw away, only their marriage, without at least trying marriage counseling.
2. Do not take everything your partner says personally. People often say extreme things when theyinterfere or attempt to justify what they do. A partner who feels guilty to tell to you, she wants a divorce can really be angry instead. A spouse who has never expressed his true feelings about things may finally explode with a long list of mistakes over the years.
3. Really anchor in your mind that how you will react the situation a significant impact on how we continue have. If you pressed a spouse who wants to keep some emotional space, you give her the perfectExcuse to go ahead and go. You can not control what your spouse chooses to do or not do, but you can control how you choose the situation under control.
4. Let yourself be "confused." If your spouse asks you to tell you what to do next, only that you are confused and need time to think, that you do not want to take any hasty decisions. His "can defuse confused" a spouse who is waiting to pick a fight. She also buys you a little time.
5. Honor your spouse request toemotional space, if it is a problem. Back off and take some time to regroup, stabilize, and take the spotlight from your partner for the moment. They have much to lose if you let your fear take over and the immediate answers to difficult questions.
6. Make a list of all the other things you can do to ground yourself and get a more balanced emotionally and physically. Include things like the work in the gym, get close to a massage, walking or hiking, rentingFriends will support hearing, to have survived inspiration and tapes on the way to work, reading books about people who have hard times to get electricity from your spiritual roots and connections, attending services at your church, temple or mosque, or from individual counseling sessions. Then make plans to implement the ones you would expect the most help.
7. Decide that whatever is in your marriage, it is important that you know that you gave it your best, and that youtried everything we knew what to do. So instead of trying to figure out, trying again and again, what is the chances that your marriage is to survive, but you put your energy to do what you can in a helpful way every day. Be proactive and take positive action.
8. This extension of your life including some new interests and activities. Do not wait to enjoy everything about your marriage settled before you as much of your life, how you can begin. Their marriage situationcan be solved, but that does not mean you need to track gross and over the whole time. Stretch to expand your world. If you enjoy, you will feel from participating in activities that you You are interested in more interesting for others, including your spouse.
9. A conscious decision to remain positive and the expectation that something will come out of this experience, good and helpful in the long term. Your expectations will influence what happens. If youdoubtful, the energy of the doubt to penetrate your efforts. Tell yourself that it's always a creative solution to every problem. The confidence in your ability to be creative, flexible and resilient.
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