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There is no simple answer to the question I am often asked: "Should I stay in my marriage, even if I'm unhappy, or should I go?" It is impossible to give a "one size fits all" response because every marriage is different.
But there are some general guidelines that can be taken into account when you are in this situation. Use these tips to think about thirteen to your marriage, your energy level, your commitment, and the degree of yourDissatisfaction.
1st Do not give up prematurely. You have time, energy, money, hopes and dreams invested in your marriage. The only way many people can divorce without feeling unduly guilty is to initiate, to know that they have tried everything they could possibly do a better marriage. It makes sense, about how the relationship you now to concentrate better.
2nd Look at your children and how they might impact a divorce.'s Divorcenever easy. Preschool children and children who are still in school is in a way that adult children will be affected, not how possible changes in the schools if a parent moves, possibly with one parent working two jobs to make it financially; the loss of daily contact with both parents, etc.
3rd, if your spouse has an addiction or abusive use all resources and groups that provide aid. Eg if your spouse is an alcoholic, join Al-Anon provides support for the familyMembers, and get your teenage children involved in Alateen, so that they receive the support they need to deal with the home situation. Of course, a top priority, your children safe, so they do not believe in any situation that is dangerous for them.
4th Concentrate on changing, such as yourself, for a better partner and not how to repair "your spouse. If you need to improve themselves and the non-productive habits and approaches, then your spouseThey relate differently. You can move in a normal mode to one another to get the keys in the same way and have always evoke the same reaction. But if you are different from normal reaction, then the interaction between the two of you will change.
5th ongoing support from a consultant, having the questions and know what you by. This gives you the help and support you need to try new things and experiment with new approaches.
6.They consider marriage counseling to encourage your spouse. If finances are a problem, call your local Chamber of Commerce or the mayor's office and ask what agencies in your community offer sliding scale fees on income. Also, some churches, counseling centers and some ministers will offer advice. Do not assume automatically assume that you can not afford counseling.
7th Make sure you depending too much on your spouse to meet your needs or makeYou happy. "Nobody can make you happy, it's an inside job. And not a single person all the needs of others. Therefore, you should be friends, hobbies need, and outdoor activities. Expand your world and see whether that some of the pressure takes place in your marriage.
8th Keep a gratitude journal every day, in which all of what you are thankful for in your life. Every day, try five or six new things to list that have not written to you before. During theDays to realize what happened, this is a blessing: the friendly shop assistant that handles your refund efficiently, with a smile, the parking space that suddenly opens only when you need it, or an unexpected compliment from a colleague.
9th Make a list of positive attributes and contributions of your spouse to your wedding, even things that he or she has done that you appreciate it. Read more about this list every morning and every evening, anchoring these good points in your head. AtAt some point, share your list with your spouse.
10th Make a consistent effort to positive and encouraging. Sandwich any criticism or request for a change in behavior between two compliments. For example: "You are always responsible to mow the yard every weekend. Could you also sweep the grass clippings off the sidewalk?" Thanks for everything you do to help the court looked so good. "
11th Work remains open your heart, is in love with your partner. Itto close slightly emotional when you're angry or hurt. Visualize beams of love or golden light shines from your heart to the heart of your partner. You can do the behavior but still love the person. If you send the energy of the ruling and the criticism to another, the answer will be very different than if you send the energy of unconditional love.
12th Try to get your thoughts, feelings and wishes in a letter to your spouse. There are many Spouses who responded positively to a letter, which are notorious for fine-tuning the spouses verbal pleas for a year. It's a different medium of communication, and it often commands more attention.
13 If you give your marriage you have your best efforts for at least a year and nothing has changed, then ask yourself the famous Ann Landers question: "Are you better with him (or her) or without him?" Life is too short to stay stuck in a miserable"Before year, if you're the only one who wants your relationship will be different. Even at this point, although sometimes with a spouse makes the shock initiation of a legal separation of the other partner finally recognize the gravity of the situation and agree to cooperate in the marriage.
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