Relationships and marriage - 5 pairs of big mistakes and how to avoid them in your marriage

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Some styles of fighting are so destructive that over time can cause the type of damage and pain that can ultimately destroy the marriage or relationship. Read on and you do discover the five very destructive mistakes couples when they fight and how to avoid them in your marriage.

Error # 1 - Starting harshly. Some partners begin the "discussion" angry and are volatile from the outset and begin with the guilt and anger at their spouses. This is morelikely to leave your partner shut down from themselves. Or respond to your partner your fire with both barrels. Either way you will achieve nothing.

Tip # 1 - Make an appointment. You Begin reasonably claim to have something to tell and ask if now is a good time. If the answer is no wonder when you talk about it. Then, if you remain calm.

Error No. 2 - character assassination. Often individuals to criticize their partner's character and not thecertain behavior. No one likes to have their character assassinated, and of course, people are less likely to be able or want to hear what you have to say.

Tip # 2 - to criticize the behavior. For example: "I'm so excited, you have not from the trash last night like you said you would. Now we have ants," and not "You're so lazy. You never do nothing. "

Mistake # 3 - First belligerent and called names. This is not productive and is very harmful. If thisCouples usually happens to feel emotionally wrung out and more wounded.

Tip # 3 - Take a time-out. If one of you starts to feel too heated up before the discussion escalated to take a break. Do you agree with at least 20 minutes - more if you need it - and at a time, you must return before the break.

Mistake # 4 - Defense. It's hard not to get too defensive when our partner complains about something that we've done. However, the defense is another wayto dismiss what your partner has to say. Whatever defensive means that your partner is saying the same thing only with different words and louder.

Tip 4 - Listen nondefensively. Take a few deep breaths and center himself. Remember to remain calm and give your partner the gift of really listening. Try to put in the position of your partner. This is really the only way to move forward on an issue and feel the wheels turning.

Mistake # 5 --Throw in the kitchen sink. It is tempting for the past sins or independent current topics. This is never PRODUCTION and will be doomed to fail, you have a chance to resolve the problem before you.

Tip # 5 - Stay focused. Discuss only one question at a time. Stay focus away from the past and the present situation and the specific behavior.

I invite you to choose these tips to avoid the destructive conflicts and build a happier thathealthier more loving relationship!