In a survey of young people agreed with the majority that "love is an addiction, like any other drug." They were describing a powerful, universal phenomenon that is often referred to as the love is really the exciting roller-coaster ride to heartbreak that results when we have our desires unchecked. It is difficult to shadow the real thing. I'm not cynical. As in a two-stage rocket, there were many beautiful relationships created in this way in life, before they burned to be true> Love. Much pain, but it has resulted in a tragic way vary from a failure, between these two distinct phenomena.
True love is not an addiction, it is a virtue. It not only brings joy, but the eternal reward time.
As a lover pronounce the magic words: "I love you," rarely do they mean: "I do everything I can, and please obligation, no matter what it costs me." The words usually mean "I'm in love with you. I long to use to maximize myPleasure. I'm so drunk, about chemicals in my brain that I shared with more pleasure. "It is not impossible that in time the relationship might turn into true love, but in this exciting moment of the couple by far.
My friend, Helen, a widow, says of the romantic dreams:
The person that we never in terms of our fantasies, whether a person who we know or an entertainer, or someone we made is commonplace.
He did not pick his nose, he does not see with his chewwith an open mouth, he never spilled sauce on his shirt. And the more we fantasize about this totally unreal person, the more difficult it becomes for us relate to a real man with so many weaknesses as we do.
If God has given me the opportunity to marry again, and I was still fantasizing, my poor husband had to compete with an imaginary lover.
Hardly a fair contest!
Wedding crash, because the love of power, if sometimes loses allowed along the coast. Like a supersonic jet, the true loverequires constant course correction and energy input to keep it to crash.
If love were genuine, it would be easy, "whispers the fraudster. On the contrary, it is through the expenditure of effort, love is proved. The constant effort may seem inconvenient, but it is the effort to transform the love into something exquisitely sensible, but as a mere reaction robot. It is the effort that produced the virtue, honor and eternal reward.
(The amount ofTime and effort God expects that will be spent in a marriage, plays To 1 Corinthians 7:33-34).
A man in the eye are regularly held with other women. The world and the enemy of our soul will see to that. But true love takes to the power of Christ and moves with difficulty a man his thoughts, what true beauty really new program.
It appears as a woman ages, her husband is an increasingly difficult task that only have eyes for her. Like anyMiddle-aged man is painfully aware, win wrinkles not suddenly find a man, wrinkles attractive. However, when a faithful husband has been faithfully over the years in the daily discipline and intentionally grow in love, unable to hold his affection in a position to pace with the age of his partner's?
Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. It is the duty of every married person, the beauty, consult its partners and to delight in this beauty.
In previousWeb sites I have explained our spiritual and marital duty to our own and our partners to minimize temptation. Once adopted by the temptation, but we must fight it with the provision of a hero, if necessary, permanent indescribable agony year after year not only as if our lives depended on it, however, dependent as ever. If for any reason not to give your partner what you want, you are hardly unusual in a situation. Many people can not even a hug. Manydo not even have a partner.
There are surely also times when one partner is not able to be intimate with others. This is just another opportunity in the virtue that will outlast the planet grow.
Maria had a flat tire. Having no interest in sex was just one of the studies suggest they affect and her husband Rex. He confided to me:
After rededicating my life to Christ, I experienced a new infusion of the love of Christ. No longer I have to weaknesses Mary's (caused byher illness), they merely emphasized their strengths. You can of course also pushed into a corner, but by God's grace, she fought for all their value to the glory of God. Mary even admits the doubts and fears, but in the warfare of the spirit, she continued to trust God.
True love is never lazy. It is always looking for new activities in the lover to admire.
The Great Delusion
Is it true that parents love is usually far better to their children than they are loving it, others? Children are rarely well behaved for a long time. Disappoint you, so often. They cause an enormous amount of work and pain. But people come to parenthood with an attitude that she is able to continue. After a few rough bumps that tend expectations of children, much closer to reality than their expectations for a continuation of the marriage partner. And when refuting the initial hopes, parents rarely see the answer to the exchanged children.
Western expectations> Spouses are so far from the reality that the arranged marriages of pagans are often more successful than the marriages of the Western Christians born again. In other words, we are unrealistically high demands on our partners, which is most ridiculous that we think that it is their duty to keep us up to an established emotional too.
Most of us expect that much on the receiving end more often than on the issue. We think it is more blessed to give than to receive. And if we do notUrgently seek Christ for the renewal of our minds, Christians can be among the world's worst expect perfection in their partners. We expect much more from a Christian than from a non-Christian. And we naively expect Christians, especially if they belong to our own church, just as we are not considering a variety of issues.
The great western delusion married for "love", which means something quite different from what the Bible means by the term. When we marryfor the glory of God, it is logical that at the wedding for the glory of God to stay if the sweetness of sour. Marry for "love", but (because we imagine we are someone to us to fall on a perpetual emotional high) and the time when we made "love to keep" finding (if the stories are real hits) we lost our primary reason for marriage, so why continue?
The euphoria of being "in love" is the result in a world of illusion that ourImagination gives the powerful illusion of being real. We are fascinated, not by a real person, but by an imaginary creature that some functions the same as the person we think we love, but has other functions better than the real person.
When we get to know someone, there are huge holes in our knowledge. If we like the person we always go smoothly on the current gaps in our knowledge with assumptions that we do not recognize is significantly better thanReality. We ultimately in our minds, part-real, part fantasy and the hybrid is not the real person that we "fall in love" with. What blue-eyed lover fantasizes about the man of her dreams, belching, snoring, leaving his smelly socks in the bathroom? Who dreams about sexy voice is used scold in a rage? Anyone who suspects that the person who agreed would welcome discussion on any issue not previously explored dogmatic on matters not agree? Whofocuses on the time when that gorgeous figure and stunning body is sagging shattered by debilitating illness?
Reality closes in. The story gradually evaporated. Our dilemma is that we even have a touch of euphoria that high false-positive "love", we usually keep the request have not had. The temporary illusion, we have found, Mr / Miss Perfect is perhaps the most addictive on earth. Would only imagine what it found, this mythical creature can create such aEcstasy that we imagine gasping in danger after that elusive feeling for the rest of our lives, in vain, that the person who is permanently give us the unsustainably high is actually somewhere in the real world. Once married, we continue our search for the perfect partner by trying to manipulate our partners in this fantastic creatures, and when we finally hope of this working group, consider looking further away.
This delusion, fed by imagination and inflamed by romanticFiction, torture women in particular. Men are more by the sex goddess, the nymph, which not only eternally young and stunningly beautiful, but has a body that transforms a regular basis by a beautiful form into another, feeding the man entranced desire for endless variety. Of course, what romantic fiction is fantasy, a woman is pornography to a person.
I can fully understand, you think I am unduly negative about the possibility of a romantic for years. ItFlies in the face of a lot of wishful thinking in our current society. However, after writing this website I discovered some fascinating scientific research shows that we are biologically and mentally predisposed to be "in love" with a person who is only 18 to 30 months. Medical tests and cross-cultural research shows that the feeling and then carries away the chemical concentration of the creation "in love" feeling, it is unlikely to ever return with the same partner. ForFor more information, see scientific confirmation.
In our despair, that aching hole in our hearts have met, we rarely stop to see how realistic are the expectations of the fans really believe.
We pine for a lover who longs not only to meet later, our deepest needs, but is always in the position. We long for someone who is always in a good mood, no annoying habits, and is not quarrelsome. We want to be a lover whose beauty and powers do not want to over the years, always someone in a positionto be, if necessary, someone who never disappointed us or leave us icy loneliness of death. We long for a partner who fully understands us, someone who can slip into our minds, what the communication effortless. We long for someone inevitably brings out the best in us, inspiring us to reach our full potential, without being obtrusive. The person we hurt to be immutable, but exciting, someone who feels our needs just as we had it made for one another, we will match anyonealways proud of someone whose love for us is so great that it continues to meet, someone seems so resistant to the ravages of aging, sickness and tragedy as an immortal. Of course, we are never far away a man like this and the time we caught a tantalizing smell of, we were in a dream world. But if we are really dealing with the nature of reality, our marriages in great danger. Living, as we are in a world of fantasy regularly portrayed as reality(Television, movies, novels, and so on) is the discovery of reality, perhaps harder for us than for other group of people who have ever lived.
It seems no coincidence that in the old-fashioned romance, young lovers, so the reality behind them and let their feelings and dreams run wild, repeatedly used religious terms such as "she loves / adores him," You're divine / heaven, "he said on the floor praying she goes", "marriage in heaven closed." From another source comes the concept"Sex goddess". Even Christians have a great tendency to expect a spouse to successfully pursue a superhuman task, was the only God fill fill always determined.
In the Ten Commandments, anyone desiring material goods is essentially the same sin as someone seeking spouse (Exodus treated 20.17). I feel good to see, therefore, the attitude of satisfaction Scripture says, we should have material things to be very similar to the attitude we have towards ourSpouse.
1. Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.
Philippians 4:12 I have learned the secret of the content in any situation. . . (13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Psalm 37:16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked.
That inspired me to believe that we should learn to appreciate and enjoy the pleasure of the partner God has blessed us, instead of falling for theGrass is greener-in-the-other-range deception.
Get the look - not just sexually but emotionally - Be on your spouse. You're proud of him / her. In love, surprise your partner for you. Keep him / her as the best partner to the world for you. Be overwhelmed with gratitude to God for your marriage. Previously, you put your hand into an open fire and watch your meat to smoke rise as daydreaming, as her partner could be better ".
Our ancestors, Adam andEva, blamed each other, God, Satan - who could possibly have had since then but themselves the descendants of a strong tendency to push the blame on someone else to, rather than the responsibility for problems. I am constantly in danger, continues this tradition. For instance when I did not love my wife, it is not because they are not sufficiently likable, it's because I did not love enough. It is not because of the way God made me, it's because of my laziness. It is notbecause of the devil, it is not sufficient, because I tried it a defeat, have Satan. The problem is not the shortcomings I see in my partner, the problem is my inadequacy - my shameful lack of Christ's love. As we have seen at the beginning of this web series, when I'm longing for other women, it is not because my woman is not sexy enough, it's because I'm sexually dysfunctional. I have everything I through effort and divine miracle to bring me back on track before IRuin my life.
We have so much in the attitude of Christ, have not been serving in order to become but to serve and give His life, his love to the end - Judas betrayed thief, and Peter, the loudmouth denier (Mark 10:45; John 12:4-6, 13:1). And through Christ we can do it. We can be freed from an addiction to unreality. We can be empowered to take responsibility for our marriage and our feelings. We can begin, in fact, as Christ loves and begin to enjoy the lovethe fruits of life as God gives us to live.
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