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Are you finding yourself irritated with your spouse lately? If you have problems to remember why you love these people - or why they even married in the first place? You are not alone!
Ramona consulted with me because this is exactly what had happened in their marriage.
"When Randy and I met for the first time we had a wonderful time together. We could talk about everything. We are passionately in love, but now I can not even remember what I> Love about him. "
"Ramona, how long you're married and how long it has been so in your marriage?"
We have been married for 7 years. We have two children. Our daughter is 5 and our son is 3 I think this is more or less going on, since our daughter was born. "
"As you can see Randy as a father?"
"He's a very good father. And he is a very loving husband. I do not understand why I feel this way."
"Ramona, what do you do to find yourselfFocusing on more than Randy? What do you know about anger? "
"Ah, I am irritated when he feels insecure about the work, or if he is tired and in need with me, or if he is complaining about something."
"Ramona, now I want to focus on, what about Randy wonderful. Aside, what you like and not only concentrate on what you do not like. I would love to hear what's wonderful about Randy."
"Randy is a very good person. He is so kind and caring. He would do anything for meand for the children. He is very smart and is a very talented musician and composer. Even though he is sometimes unsure because he loves his work and has led to success. He has a great sense of humor. And he takes good care of themselves physically, at which I know really appreciate.
"You know what I talk about him, I realize that I was not thinking about these properties in a long time. I have the focus on the problems, instead of his good qualities."
Has "Right, and this causesYou lose your feelings of love for him. I wonder if you have been concentrating on the problems, because it does not give you a way to take care of you complain when he is in need or a feeling? Is there a way to janitor him and give him when he is insecure or needy?
"Yes, I listen to him if I did not do anything and then I'll try to fix it. That's when I do. Annoy So, what should I do if he is, how?"
"What would you do if you focusin the admission of loving himself rather than his caretakers? "
"I could only go in the other room and read a book! But would not that selfish and unkind to him?"
"Be no, it is not love, enable it to him in the arms and complain. Her caretakers will not help him learn to play better for his own feelings. If you solve affectionately when he was not taking care of themselves, give him an opportunity to take responsibility for themselves. It is the opposite of selfish - it is responsible! "
"Wow, I never saw them this way! So, if every time he complains or acts needy or insecure, I go away and do something, I do not like it, then I am not angry with him feel. I can see that if I take care of myself, it is much easier for me to remember what I love about him. "
Ramona by e-mail me a few days later that things were completely turned around in her relationship with Randy. She was glad that she felt her again> Love for him, and it was noted that this also affects the behavior of their children. They were much calmer than they even happier!
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