True Love - Marital Love at its Best - Love for Life

In a survey of young people agreed with the majority that "love is an addiction, like any other drug." They were describing a powerful, universal phenomenon that is often referred to as the love is really the exciting roller-coaster ride to heartbreak that results when we have our desires unchecked. It is difficult to shadow the real thing. I'm not cynical. As in a two-stage rocket, there were many beautiful relationships created in this way in life, before they burned to be true> Love. Much pain, but it has resulted in a tragic way vary from a failure, between these two distinct phenomena.

True love is not an addiction, it is a virtue. It not only brings joy, but the eternal reward time.

As a lover pronounce the magic words: "I love you," rarely do they mean: "I do everything I can, and please obligation, no matter what it costs me." The words usually mean "I'm in love with you. I long to use to maximize myPleasure. I'm so drunk, about chemicals in my brain that I shared with more pleasure. "It is not impossible that in time the relationship might turn into true love, but in this exciting moment of the couple by far.

My friend, Helen, a widow, says of the romantic dreams:

The person that we never in terms of our fantasies, whether a person who we know or an entertainer, or someone we made is commonplace.

He did not pick his nose, he does not see with his chewwith an open mouth, he never spilled sauce on his shirt. And the more we fantasize about this totally unreal person, the more difficult it becomes for us relate to a real man with so many weaknesses as we do.

If God has given me the opportunity to marry again, and I was still fantasizing, my poor husband had to compete with an imaginary lover.

Hardly a fair contest!

Wedding crash, because the love of power, if sometimes loses allowed along the coast. Like a supersonic jet, the true loverequires constant course correction and energy input to keep it to crash.

If love were genuine, it would be easy, "whispers the fraudster. On the contrary, it is through the expenditure of effort, love is proved. The constant effort may seem inconvenient, but it is the effort to transform the love into something exquisitely sensible, but as a mere reaction robot. It is the effort that produced the virtue, honor and eternal reward.

(The amount ofTime and effort God expects that will be spent in a marriage, plays To 1 Corinthians 7:33-34).

A man in the eye are regularly held with other women. The world and the enemy of our soul will see to that. But true love takes to the power of Christ and moves with difficulty a man his thoughts, what true beauty really new program.

It appears as a woman ages, her husband is an increasingly difficult task that only have eyes for her. Like anyMiddle-aged man is painfully aware, win wrinkles not suddenly find a man, wrinkles attractive. However, when a faithful husband has been faithfully over the years in the daily discipline and intentionally grow in love, unable to hold his affection in a position to pace with the age of his partner's?

Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. It is the duty of every married person, the beauty, consult its partners and to delight in this beauty.

In previousWeb sites I have explained our spiritual and marital duty to our own and our partners to minimize temptation. Once adopted by the temptation, but we must fight it with the provision of a hero, if necessary, permanent indescribable agony year after year not only as if our lives depended on it, however, dependent as ever. If for any reason not to give your partner what you want, you are hardly unusual in a situation. Many people can not even a hug. Manydo not even have a partner.

There are surely also times when one partner is not able to be intimate with others. This is just another opportunity in the virtue that will outlast the planet grow.

Maria had a flat tire. Having no interest in sex was just one of the studies suggest they affect and her husband Rex. He confided to me:

After rededicating my life to Christ, I experienced a new infusion of the love of Christ. No longer I have to weaknesses Mary's (caused byher illness), they merely emphasized their strengths. You can of course also pushed into a corner, but by God's grace, she fought for all their value to the glory of God. Mary even admits the doubts and fears, but in the warfare of the spirit, she continued to trust God.

True love is never lazy. It is always looking for new activities in the lover to admire.

The Great Delusion

Is it true that parents love is usually far better to their children than they are loving it, others? Children are rarely well behaved for a long time. Disappoint you, so often. They cause an enormous amount of work and pain. But people come to parenthood with an attitude that she is able to continue. After a few rough bumps that tend expectations of children, much closer to reality than their expectations for a continuation of the marriage partner. And when refuting the initial hopes, parents rarely see the answer to the exchanged children.

Western expectations> Spouses are so far from the reality that the arranged marriages of pagans are often more successful than the marriages of the Western Christians born again. In other words, we are unrealistically high demands on our partners, which is most ridiculous that we think that it is their duty to keep us up to an established emotional too.

Most of us expect that much on the receiving end more often than on the issue. We think it is more blessed to give than to receive. And if we do notUrgently seek Christ for the renewal of our minds, Christians can be among the world's worst expect perfection in their partners. We expect much more from a Christian than from a non-Christian. And we naively expect Christians, especially if they belong to our own church, just as we are not considering a variety of issues.

The great western delusion married for "love", which means something quite different from what the Bible means by the term. When we marryfor the glory of God, it is logical that at the wedding for the glory of God to stay if the sweetness of sour. Marry for "love", but (because we imagine we are someone to us to fall on a perpetual emotional high) and the time when we made "love to keep" finding (if the stories are real hits) we lost our primary reason for marriage, so why continue?

The euphoria of being "in love" is the result in a world of illusion that ourImagination gives the powerful illusion of being real. We are fascinated, not by a real person, but by an imaginary creature that some functions the same as the person we think we love, but has other functions better than the real person.

When we get to know someone, there are huge holes in our knowledge. If we like the person we always go smoothly on the current gaps in our knowledge with assumptions that we do not recognize is significantly better thanReality. We ultimately in our minds, part-real, part fantasy and the hybrid is not the real person that we "fall in love" with. What blue-eyed lover fantasizes about the man of her dreams, belching, snoring, leaving his smelly socks in the bathroom? Who dreams about sexy voice is used scold in a rage? Anyone who suspects that the person who agreed would welcome discussion on any issue not previously explored dogmatic on matters not agree? Whofocuses on the time when that gorgeous figure and stunning body is sagging shattered by debilitating illness?

Reality closes in. The story gradually evaporated. Our dilemma is that we even have a touch of euphoria that high false-positive "love", we usually keep the request have not had. The temporary illusion, we have found, Mr / Miss Perfect is perhaps the most addictive on earth. Would only imagine what it found, this mythical creature can create such aEcstasy that we imagine gasping in danger after that elusive feeling for the rest of our lives, in vain, that the person who is permanently give us the unsustainably high is actually somewhere in the real world. Once married, we continue our search for the perfect partner by trying to manipulate our partners in this fantastic creatures, and when we finally hope of this working group, consider looking further away.

This delusion, fed by imagination and inflamed by romanticFiction, torture women in particular. Men are more by the sex goddess, the nymph, which not only eternally young and stunningly beautiful, but has a body that transforms a regular basis by a beautiful form into another, feeding the man entranced desire for endless variety. Of course, what romantic fiction is fantasy, a woman is pornography to a person.

I can fully understand, you think I am unduly negative about the possibility of a romantic for years. ItFlies in the face of a lot of wishful thinking in our current society. However, after writing this website I discovered some fascinating scientific research shows that we are biologically and mentally predisposed to be "in love" with a person who is only 18 to 30 months. Medical tests and cross-cultural research shows that the feeling and then carries away the chemical concentration of the creation "in love" feeling, it is unlikely to ever return with the same partner. ForFor more information, see scientific confirmation.

In our despair, that aching hole in our hearts have met, we rarely stop to see how realistic are the expectations of the fans really believe.

We pine for a lover who longs not only to meet later, our deepest needs, but is always in the position. We long for someone who is always in a good mood, no annoying habits, and is not quarrelsome. We want to be a lover whose beauty and powers do not want to over the years, always someone in a positionto be, if necessary, someone who never disappointed us or leave us icy loneliness of death. We long for a partner who fully understands us, someone who can slip into our minds, what the communication effortless. We long for someone inevitably brings out the best in us, inspiring us to reach our full potential, without being obtrusive. The person we hurt to be immutable, but exciting, someone who feels our needs just as we had it made for one another, we will match anyonealways proud of someone whose love for us is so great that it continues to meet, someone seems so resistant to the ravages of aging, sickness and tragedy as an immortal. Of course, we are never far away a man like this and the time we caught a tantalizing smell of, we were in a dream world. But if we are really dealing with the nature of reality, our marriages in great danger. Living, as we are in a world of fantasy regularly portrayed as reality(Television, movies, novels, and so on) is the discovery of reality, perhaps harder for us than for other group of people who have ever lived.

It seems no coincidence that in the old-fashioned romance, young lovers, so the reality behind them and let their feelings and dreams run wild, repeatedly used religious terms such as "she loves / adores him," You're divine / heaven, "he said on the floor praying she goes", "marriage in heaven closed." From another source comes the concept"Sex goddess". Even Christians have a great tendency to expect a spouse to successfully pursue a superhuman task, was the only God fill fill always determined.

In the Ten Commandments, anyone desiring material goods is essentially the same sin as someone seeking spouse (Exodus treated 20.17). I feel good to see, therefore, the attitude of satisfaction Scripture says, we should have material things to be very similar to the attitude we have towards ourSpouse.

1. Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Philippians 4:12 I have learned the secret of the content in any situation. . . (13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Psalm 37:16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked.

That inspired me to believe that we should learn to appreciate and enjoy the pleasure of the partner God has blessed us, instead of falling for theGrass is greener-in-the-other-range deception.

Get the look - not just sexually but emotionally - Be on your spouse. You're proud of him / her. In love, surprise your partner for you. Keep him / her as the best partner to the world for you. Be overwhelmed with gratitude to God for your marriage. Previously, you put your hand into an open fire and watch your meat to smoke rise as daydreaming, as her partner could be better ".

Our ancestors, Adam andEva, blamed each other, God, Satan - who could possibly have had since then but themselves the descendants of a strong tendency to push the blame on someone else to, rather than the responsibility for problems. I am constantly in danger, continues this tradition. For instance when I did not love my wife, it is not because they are not sufficiently likable, it's because I did not love enough. It is not because of the way God made me, it's because of my laziness. It is notbecause of the devil, it is not sufficient, because I tried it a defeat, have Satan. The problem is not the shortcomings I see in my partner, the problem is my inadequacy - my shameful lack of Christ's love. As we have seen at the beginning of this web series, when I'm longing for other women, it is not because my woman is not sexy enough, it's because I'm sexually dysfunctional. I have everything I through effort and divine miracle to bring me back on track before IRuin my life.

We have so much in the attitude of Christ, have not been serving in order to become but to serve and give His life, his love to the end - Judas betrayed thief, and Peter, the loudmouth denier (Mark 10:45; John 12:4-6, 13:1). And through Christ we can do it. We can be freed from an addiction to unreality. We can be empowered to take responsibility for our marriage and our feelings. We can begin, in fact, as Christ loves and begin to enjoy the lovethe fruits of life as God gives us to live.

How to Keep Hope Alive During a marital crisis

During a marriage crisis, you may feel like your whole world falls apart and all your dreams will be destroyed. Listen to the words "I love you no more," "I want a divorce" or "I do not know if I want to stay married" can leave if reeling from the shock.

Many emotions surface stunned after the first reaction: anger, fear, anxiety, confusion, anger, bitterness, despair and depression. Everything seems to be mixed and slightly unreal, as ifthis is really happening to someone else, not to you. But incredibly, it's happening to you.

At this point you have to had every ounce of courage and strength that you possess and a lot that you do not know, you are using until now. Like you have room for some private time, so you can take care of themselves together, and create an action plan drawn up.

You may have to spend to buy one days from work some time in conversation with a close friend, a notebook and start writingShare your feelings and thoughts, or take a long walk in the park Another option is to call and schedule an appointment for counseling even as soon as possible.

Next, spend some time thinking about how you deal with this situation. Its goal is to buy time so that your spouse does not bolt out the door too early. You want to slow down a bit, so your spouse can be reconsidered in time and, if at all possible, arrange to go to counseling with you.

During this time of crisis,You need the "guardian of marriage flame." It will hold up to you, hope and love alive, so that the fire did not go out. You can not complain that it is not fair and that it should not be so.

But the bottom line is that if you save your marriage and your partner wants out, it is up to you to take positive action. During the crisis, see, you must be prepared to hold not much more than your fair share of your marriagealive.

And that means that despite your anxiety and worry, it's up to you to keep hope alive - hope you make your marriage is - and I hope that your partner will change his mind - I hope that your marriage survive this can and better than ever before.

Here are some tips on how to preserve the hope and cope during this time:

1. Do not give up on your wedding, no matter what your husband has said. People often change their minds. No situation is hopeless, ifat least one partner is willing to do whatever it takes to really maintain the marriage. There is always hope that your marriage can be transformed by loving energy. Many spouses to reconsider their initial impulse to leave and decide that they have invested too much time and energy to throw away, only their marriage, without at least trying marriage counseling.

2. Do not take everything your partner says personally. People often say extreme things when theyinterfere or attempt to justify what they do. A partner who feels guilty to tell to you, she wants a divorce can really be angry instead. A spouse who has never expressed his true feelings about things may finally explode with a long list of mistakes over the years.

3. Really anchor in your mind that how you will react the situation a significant impact on how we continue have. If you pressed a spouse who wants to keep some emotional space, you give her the perfectExcuse to go ahead and go. You can not control what your spouse chooses to do or not do, but you can control how you choose the situation under control.

4. Let yourself be "confused." If your spouse asks you to tell you what to do next, only that you are confused and need time to think, that you do not want to take any hasty decisions. His "can defuse confused" a spouse who is waiting to pick a fight. She also buys you a little time.

5. Honor your spouse request toemotional space, if it is a problem. Back off and take some time to regroup, stabilize, and take the spotlight from your partner for the moment. They have much to lose if you let your fear take over and the immediate answers to difficult questions.

6. Make a list of all the other things you can do to ground yourself and get a more balanced emotionally and physically. Include things like the work in the gym, get close to a massage, walking or hiking, rentingFriends will support hearing, to have survived inspiration and tapes on the way to work, reading books about people who have hard times to get electricity from your spiritual roots and connections, attending services at your church, temple or mosque, or from individual counseling sessions. Then make plans to implement the ones you would expect the most help.

7. Decide that whatever is in your marriage, it is important that you know that you gave it your best, and that youtried everything we knew what to do. So instead of trying to figure out, trying again and again, what is the chances that your marriage is to survive, but you put your energy to do what you can in a helpful way every day. Be proactive and take positive action.

8. This extension of your life including some new interests and activities. Do not wait to enjoy everything about your marriage settled before you as much of your life, how you can begin. Their marriage situationcan be solved, but that does not mean you need to track gross and over the whole time. Stretch to expand your world. If you enjoy, you will feel from participating in activities that you You are interested in more interesting for others, including your spouse.

9. A conscious decision to remain positive and the expectation that something will come out of this experience, good and helpful in the long term. Your expectations will influence what happens. If youdoubtful, the energy of the doubt to penetrate your efforts. Tell yourself that it's always a creative solution to every problem. The confidence in your ability to be creative, flexible and resilient.

Reduce marital problems: Go and Wake Up Your Luck

At one time or another, most of us have had daydreams about winning the lottery, achieved great fame, or having the perfect partner and live happily ever after. We usually visualize our imagined future happiness as something that will come unexpectedly, "surprise out of the blue" and.

In reality, most luck is the product of lots of hard work and creative initiative. If we wait only for the good things into your lap without any effort come from our side, we are ourselvesFor disappointment. It is up to us, the foundation that the door for the opportunity to come into our lives, will not open.

A Persian saying advises: "Go and wake your luck." To do this, we need to wake up and start taking action toward our goals. For, like a Yiddish proverb warns: "If you want your dreams come true, do not oversleep." It takes initiative, energy and effort from our side to start to happen the process of preparing the way for good things.

AfterAnthony Robbins: "It is the moment of your choices, your destiny is shaped." This means that the unfolding of our destiny is not a passive process, but rather that every day we actively influence what is happening in our lives. The good news is that if we are dissatisfied with our lives, we are always new opportunities and create a life that reflects more accurately who we are now and what we want to be.

The same principles are in every aspect of your life, including trueYour marriage. The happy marriage does not just happen. It requires consistent efforts and initiatives to solve marriage problems and reduce conflict.

If you have a marriage with quality emotional intimacy, then you have to deepen measures to take your feelings of connection with your spouse. Sometime in the future it might appear to family and friends that you have very "lucky" to such a loving marriage. But you know, the hardWork behind the scenes that needs to be "happiness" in marriage generally.

How to Be "Lucky" in your marriage

Here are seven tips to follow:

1. Rather than blame your spouse and focus on how he or she should change to focus on a better partner to change itself to the kind of ideal partner would have liked.

2. Ask a question still to notice your spouse's good qualities and what you like and admire him.Enter your spouse looking for a lot of praise, and for ways to give compliments to others.

3. Express your appreciation and love, often orally, in writing (notes and maps), and with hugs and physical affection. Be sure that you do not hold hands, hug and kiss only if you can the expectations of sex, or your partner until finally tries to avoid physical contact with you.

4. Record important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries in your dailyPlanners at the first of each calendar year. Make sure the special occasions for a few weeks ahead of time as well as the special day, so you'd have time to make to a gift or buy dinner reservations to list. Be the spouse, who never forgets a special occasion. They are still many more good win brownie points for this!

5. Create a "story" about your marriage, how you met your spouse how much you love each other, what were your adventures, etc.Example, you could tell the story, if You Met Your Prince Charming at the wedding of a second-degree, right after you slipped and fell in front of everybody and he helped you to your feet.

One could say that he thought that was a rare happening for you, but little did he know about your likes and cumbersome when you're married, he would help you in soils around the world ... Make the story light and humorous and have fun by through the years.

6.Learn what to overlook. You can not make a big deal out of everything that happens. Choose your disagreement, and to carefully distinguish the unimportant, or "little things" from the important "big stuff." Constant conflict extinguishes the fire of passion.

7. Never, never, never to your spouse names or zoom out to him or her. It is impossible to love the feeling of someone who has just called you a "fool or worse. Bite you leave the room, the tongue, to go outside fora few minutes to do, what you need to do to stop himself. Find out how to agree to call without a name, or use of sarcasm or ridicule.

His "luck" in the marital relationship requires hard work, but the payoff is huge.

Marital problems - Do You Really Trust Your Spouse?

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Do you really trust your spouse? Does your spouse have? Trust These are very difficult questions for many spouses. On the other hand, some blatantly spouses their spouses to know how they feel about this marriage issue. We've found that when trust is lacking in a marriage of love and commitment that should be either missing or present tense.

Let us consider these two points:


So the man thinks he is
In the story above, we seewhere John Mary because of the trust, what had happened with his parents. However, if you are with your spouse and you see someone who seems to be better than his, you feel threatened?

Are you worried that he can take a look at it and fall for them or they can steal it? Well, then you can in the same batch of people who do not trust their spouse.

Think about it, perhaps the reason why you think that these things, because what you want to do or would do. Much of the time the man deceives the woman and revolves around the suspicion of infidelity of the woman.

As the saying goes, "so a man thinketh, so is he." The Bible also suggests that it is from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Therefore, it is in us before it comes out.



Trust is a two way street
If love is the currency in which marriage is the trust of the wallet to carry it. If you have money, put it in your wallet or purse. So it is with love, if you> Love should you want the confidence that you love.

There is nothing more stressful than a combined spouse who does not trust his partner. Every action or word would be decomposed to determine whether it is a betrayal.

Trust must go both ways. You can not expect to pick up every day to go do your own thing, late at night, on weekends, not including your spouse and do not communicate your whereabouts to come, but expect your spouse to trust them. Then, if he or she makesthe same thing you are excited and start to have doubts about his loyalty.

As you learn to have confidence in your spouse, you have them always the reason to trust you. Mark and I know what we are doing. This is something that we communicate before leaving in the morning. Actually we plan our week together on the weekend schedule and we are usually together, things alone or with friends.

Mark would make fun of me for always saying: "So, what's the plan." Well, that's his favorite isPhrase. As an both of us, we share everything, and it must not be a secret.

No one can experience a healthy and fulfilling marriage if it suspicious. If you do not censure a legitimate reason for your spouse, then this is an area in your marriage, you must overcome. If not, you will be plagued with a variety of marriage and divorce problems, could one of them.